MATURE MAN BONDS WITH GENTLEMEN

Gentlemen: I LIVE IN PHILADELPHIA BUT CAN ALSO TRAVEL TO NEW YORK AREA. For years I have been advertising as a gay masseur/escort, jockeying between that necessary human contact and working as an accountant. But, as one of the population having been born in 1950, I, we, do find that time does not stop to wait until we catch up with reality. Chronologically, I am now at the onset of 'old age', (whatever temporal importance that can be construed to indicate). This essay seeks to address the problems, even emergent problems, one begins to actualize with ageing and/or disability. When one does not 'fit into the mold' within our youth-orientated culture, one quickly finds that, in all too many cases, genuine human needs cannot properly be met. In too many instances, many needs CAN be met, albeit with a financial cost that becomes more than cumbersome and onerous. And, too often, these problems become severely augmented when a person has no family, no friends, no genuine contacts. There has to be a sane and entirely cost-effective way for such people to live productive lives while becoming part of a wholesome community; one in which we feel protected, legitimate, and cared about. And, to be democratic, these problems range all the way from physical/mental challenges, to housing, to formal estate planning. Introverted personalities (me) have an especially perplexing conundrum to deal with as, too often and unfortunately, we mistakenly perceive friendships as being more burdensome than welcoming. Thus, I ask, can we think hard about how to help ourselves (physically/mentally) in some sane manner, in ways which run a continuum from off-beat to routine? Can we think of avenues to address some of our most pressing problems and, thereby, create a subsidiary culture which makes us feel wholly legitimate instead of burdensome? Negativity does not have to be an enduring component of such condition; in fact, when we present a solution which, to us might seem routine, another might find such to be a sensational, most welcomed aid which will enhance his/her well-being. Indeed, the perception of deficiency does not always manifest into a genuine deficiency. Reading this short essay are people from all walks of life. Some have formal education, some are educated through life's rigors. (And some are young and find such wording to be foreign to their lifestyles. However, they, also, might have something to contribute; yes, even the young do think and should not hesitate to contribute.) I suggest: Any interested people might exchange contact information and share emerging thoughts. Some folks will be more reticent than others; those people will be more hesitant to expose inner thoughts and potential remedies, perhaps from fear of ridicule or a feeling of inadequacy. Thus, mandatory for all: We must always present a welcoming attitude (even if critical in theory) and encourage those who are a bit more reluctant to express freely and without facilitating any vestige of ad hominem attacks. Genuine respect is key. My problems might not coalesce with your problems, but, in the end, these diverging concerns can become effectively meshed into a unified whole which, as an integrated entity, retains its valid logic. Hopefully, this logic just might become supplanted by a productive synergy benefiting all. - David